Fate's Palette: Painted Me Green
by SaiyanQueenVega
Summary: He couldn't be sure that his family would even want to keep him around if they knew. But they DIDN'T know. Not even Master Splinter knew how...flawed...he was. And Michelangelo planned on keeping it that way. *ON HOLD*
1. A Freak Even Amongst Freaks

**Fate's Palette: Painted Me Green  
**_Ch 1: A Freak Even Amongst Freaks_

**Disclaimer**: If I was enterprising enough to own the rights to TMNT I'd probably also own the internet by now. As it is, the artistic masterminds behind our favorite mutants are Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird.  
**Rating**: PG / PG13-ish  
**Universe**: Post Ninja Tribunal New Toon. No Fast Forward!  
**Notes: **Due to developments further along in the story I've made a few changes to the first few chapters. Nothing huge, but worth re-reading. It's gotten a bit darker.  
**Warnings**: Nothing yet. Future language. Future situations not for the easily offended.

* * *

Michelangelo

Hamato Michelangelo had decided years ago that he was different than his brothers. So different, in fact, that on more than one occasion he'd wondered if he was even really related to any of them. They were serious while he wanted to have fun, they were pessimists for the most part while he tried to see the positives in life. Along the way he'd admitted to himself that his brothers were smarter than he was and that they also seemed to learn and remember things much easier than he did. Physically they had always been bigger than he was, and as they'd aged even the emerging slight bluishness to his skin tone seemed to set him apart from them in his mind. But most importantly, they weren't..defective..like he was.

He wasn't sure what to call it really. All he knew was that his brothers didn't get...sick...like he did. He'd always been...sick...for as far back as he could remember. He'd never brought it up. He didn't dare! The youngest turtle actually went out of his way to hide it away as his most well kept secret. Even he himself wasn't sure why he'd done it as a child, but as he'd grown it became all too clear that someone like him would never be allowed to become a ninja. He couldn't be sure that his family would even want to keep him around if they knew. But they DIDN'T know. Not even Master Splinter knew how...flawed...he was. And Michelangelo planned on keeping it that way.

But it was becoming harder and harder to hide. Ever since the Shredder had entered the picture it had become nearly impossible to get away from the others when he felt the familiar signs of an...episode...coming. His blue-clad brother in particular seemed to have teetered over an invisible edge and into a whole new realm of overprotectiveness. And Leonardo's new attitude meant that he didn't like to let ANY of his brothers out of his sight if he could help it. So the youngest turtle had taken the drastic measure of 'pulling a Raph', as he called it, and simply sneaking out and disappearing without permission when the need arose. And the need seemed to be arising more and more often in the past years. His secret wasn't going to keep much longer...

* * *

The first thing that Michelangelo was aware of when he regained any sense of coherency was the feeling of intense pain radiating from his head both internally and externally. Immediately after that came the feeling that every muscle in his body was tensed as tight as a spring. Soon after came conscious thought. And with conscious thought came worry. He quickly tucked worry into the back of his mind, to be dealt with a bit later, and instead put his efforts into something more physical, like motion. 

Unfortunately, attempting motion quickly reminded him of his painfully tight muscles. So he went about attempting to slowly stretch his aching body. That too turned out to be a bit of a painful experience as he began discovering the network of rug-burn like scrapes running along his extremities. Bruises also painted his kneecaps, as well as his elbows, and even the knuckles on his left hand. The orange-clad turtle tried not to think of what he must look like to an outside observer.

After what felt like an eternity of careful stretching and flexing he was left to face a scary fact. His left arm didn't seem to want to respond to his commands nearly as well as it should have. What should have been a rapid flexing of his three fingers instead came out as sluggish twitching. The worry he'd pushed into the back of his mind quickly evolved into panic. This had never happened before! Mikey may not have been the sharpest crayon in the box, but he knew that this could be a ninjutsu career ending injury.

"I can fix this" he whispered to no one. "I HAVE to fix this!" He continued his attempt to wiggle his fingers completely unaware of the time slipping by...


	2. Fabled Diary of the Angry Brother

**Fate's Palette: Painted Me Green  
**_Ch 2: Fabled Diary of the Angry Brother_

**Disclaimer**: Unless my ferrets decide to spontaneously mutate and learn some mad ninja skills tonight I'm afraid that Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird are the only people around here that own any teenage mutant ninja anything!  
**Rating**: PG / PG13-ish  
**Universe**: Post Ninja Tribunal New Toon. No Fast Forward!  
**Warnings**: Language.  
**Notes 1: **Did someone here call in for an order of back-story...with no anchovies?  
**Notes 2**: This chapter was updated on 6-02-07 with a few changes to conform with future events in the story.

* * *

_Raphael_

_Entry 237_

_I know that it's been like 4 years since Sensei stopped making me write my thoughts out in this stupid journal. But with all the tension down here lately... well, the only one I really want to talk to right now is someone who won't talk back. Anyway, let's play a bit of catch up..._

_Pinpointing the exact moment that our lives started to suck isn't difficult. All I have to do is go back to those damn mousers. Not that our lives were perfect before that, I've grumbled about THAT often enough in here to prove it, but...I guess, looking back, things were alright. Everything just started to fall apart after those damn tin cans chewed up our home. The whole situation with the Shredder wasn't far behind. And as if he and his Foot attempting to snuff us wasn't enough, we were also kept busy dealing with other annoyances. Annoyances like the Triceratons and Federation, the Ultimate Ninja and Drako, Savanti Romero, Bishop, Stockman, and our everyday dealings with gangs and the mob. I could fill this whole stupid journal explaining about all THAT crap. Oh, and lets not forget the ninja tribunal and the threat of the original Demon Shredder. Let's just say it all sucked...ROYALY! And then, as if we didn't have enough to deal with already, everything started to change again._

_It was subtle, and I honestly think it woulda taken a lot longer for us to notice if it wasn't for an offhanded comment that April (maybe I'll make an entry about her and Casey later) made. Just a simple joke about how it seemed that we were growing up right in front of her and stuff. _

_But I guess the comment stuck in Donny's head, because he measured us all when we got home. He'd been keeping track of our basic stats on a yearly basis for going on ten years now and according to him we hadn't grown so much as an inch for 3 years...until now. We were growing! Well specifically, only three of us had gained any height. I can still remember joking with Mikey about him being the runt of the family._

_About two months and several inches later something seemed to...I guess...shift...in Leo. He started ta get worked up about things that he'd simply blown off before. Poking fun at him or joking around when he commanded attention suddenly came with the risk of a furious (and usually shouted) telling off. I mean a LOT worse than his normal sermons, or even when he'd gone all emo after Karai stabbed him! And any time I questioned his authority he'd get this murderous look in his eyes, like I was a threat to him or something. _

_After putting up with his shit for a couple of weeks I eventually cornered him in the dojo one night. The resulting fight is not one of my prouder moments. At the end I was pined to the mat on my shell with Leo's weight holding me down and his hands at my throat. And I could swear that he was hissing at me! Luckily for me we were so mad that I guess we both forgot about our weapons. I didn't really have any choice but to choke out that I gave up. But that seemed to wake Leo from whatever had come over him because he quickly allowed me to breathe. Neither of us ever mentioned the fight to anyone else and the bruising we both gained was explained away. Who'd of thunk it? Splinter Jr. lying to Sensei! But I've given ol' fearless leader a bit more slack and a lot less lip since that night._

_Things were just starting to settle down a bit with Leo, but then like a month ago DON starts copping an attitude. He started to get really angry at us over the smallest things just like Leo. But where Leo had focused his rage on me for the most part, our resident genius started verbally lashing out a different brother. He's sent Mikey running past me in tears several times in these last weeks. _

_Mikey. That's another can of worms entirely. I take pride in knowing more about my baby brother than anyone else in this sewer(blackmail material included of course). But this past year I've noticed that he's been a bit more subdued than I've ever seen him. It's hard to put down on paper... I guess you could say he still bounces off the walls, but there's less oomph to it. And now as the city above rebuilds from our dragon battle he's actually taken to locking himself in his room, which he's never been known to do in the past 16 years. I've also known for years that he's been known to occasionally take off and disappear to some hidey-hole he's made for himself for the odd afternoon every few months. Hell, I do that sort of thing myself a LOT more often than he does so who am I to judge him for it? But he vanished on one of those little retreats of his the other day and he didn't come home last night. Or all day today either. _

_Leo is absolutely furious with him and he's done nothing but search, and bitch, and make threats all day. And when I finally told him that he didn't need to suffocate Mikey we ended up in a rather long shouting match followed by a short scuffle. And I've been trying to placate Donny but I can tell that he's still about to launch himself fist first at Fearless if he doesn't stop ranting soon. _

_Sometimes I wonder what is happening to us. I mean, when did **I** turn into the one who tries to calm everyone down?_

* * *

His eyes snapped open and his room came instantly into focus.

Raphael hated being left out of the loop. Being left out of the loop felt an awful lot like being out of control, and there was nothing that he loathed more than not having control. He'd not been awake for even a full ten seconds before he decided that he'd missed something rather important. He could feel it in his gut. And he always trusted his gut.

Closing the journal that had remained propped open on his chest while he'd slept (and hiding it, because as far as his brothers knew Raphael simply did **NOT** have a journal) and rousing himself from his hammock, he concentrated on the sounds around him. He could make out both Donny's and Leo's voices in hissed whispers coming from his olive brother's room. A faint sound could also be heard from the dojo, and that stirred his curiosity. It probably meant that Mikey was back and that he was doing flips... But the voices from Donny's room spiked in volume at that moment, immediately shifting his interest. It sounded like the brainiac and fearless leader were arguing again.

He couldn't help but wonder, not for the first time in the last 24 hours, what had gotten into those two. His brothers acting as hot-headed as him...that was another thing that Raphael hated. And neither of them seemed to realize just how much their personalities had changed. Another knock-down-drag-out fight was brewing in their lair and the sai wielding turtle had decided, much to his own amazement, that he didn't want any real part of it.

"...**SPY** on our brother!?"

"Would you keep your voice down?!"


	3. The Building Blocks of Trust and Fear

**Fate's Palette: Painted Me Green  
**_Ch 3: The Building Blocks of Trust and Fear_

**Disclaimer**: Since I am not the daughter of Kevin Eastman or Peter Laird, and nor am I a major stockholder in ANY major animation studio/movie company... it can be safely assumed that I am making no money off of mutated animals, turtles least of all.  
**Rating**: PG / PG13  
**Universe**: Post Ninja Tribunal New Toon. No Fast Forward!  
**Notes: **Updated to reflect facts further along in the story.  
**Warnings**: Still nothing yet. Future language.

* * *

_Donatello_

"I can't do that Leo. It's a violation of his privacy, as well as his trust. How can you stand there and ask me to **SPY** on our brother!?" Donatello was not a happy turtle right now. He'd woken up with the intention of running a quick diagnostic scan on the security systems and then settling himself in front of the television for a three hour _Myth Busters_ marathon. But instead he found himself deep in a heated debate with his oldest brother.

"Would you keep your voice down?!" Leonardo hissed to his olive skinned brother. He stood in Donatello's path, preventing him from walking away from the argument, before continuing. "Look, this isn't about trust. This is about protecting our family. And whether he likes it or not, these little excursions Mikey has been taking could put us ALL at risk."

"I'm not arguing that something needs to be done about him, but I'm not compromising my integrity for you. I'm NOT bugging Mikey."

"You've seen the trouble that Raph gets into when he goes out at night. And he's twice the fighter Mikey is. If he gets caught and we have no way to find his location-"

"Then let him get out of his own mess!!" Don interrupted. "Besides you can't even be sure that he is going above ground. And when has Mikey EVER gone looking for a fight?"

"But the fight might go looking for HIM! Look, he was gone for two days this time Don. He just finally lugged himself through the door at five AM. FIVE in the MORNING Don! You haven't seen the state he came home in yet either. He's exhausted, he's bruised, and no matter how hard he tries to hide it he is hurt." The blue clad turtle paused to catch his brother in a meaningful glare. "And I can only think of one cause. I think he's been in a fight that he's not telling us about, and I'm worried that he might not come back from his next little flight of fancy. Is his privacy more important to you than his life!?" The two brothers stood in a tense silence, each trying to stare the other down.

And not for the first time this month a small voice in the back of the inventor's mind called for him to lunge forward and strike their leader down. Donatello sighed, ending the standoff. "What does Splinter have to say about this plan of yours?"

"He's willing to give this a try. Michelangelo's being unreasonable about it. At least with Raph he's learned to take his shell cell with him most of the time so that we can get a hold of him in a pinch. And he's at least a bit predictable. But Mikey... he's deliberately leaving his only line of communication and tracking at home. And he's suddenly disappearing whenever he pleases, at any time of the day or night. We'd be out of luck if we needed him in an emergency, or if he needed us."

"Well have you tried talking-"

"Both Master Splinter and I have already tried to reason with him" Leonardo cut in, his annoyance showing through again. "But I honestly don't think he cares. It's almost like he doesn't WANT us to be able to find him, even in an emergency! And it seems that no amount of restriction or punishment is going to change his habits. He just accepted two weeks of electronics restrictions, a month of topside restrictions, and a hundred flips with no explanations offered and no arguments. He wouldn't even look Sensei in the eyes!"

"Man. A guy sleeps in until seven around here and he misses out on ALL of the day's gossip. I guess I missed out on eavesdropping on THAT particular lecture. When did it happen" Don tried to joke, still avoiding giving his brother an answer.

"It just ended ten minutes ago. I couldn't watch his pitiful attempts at flips any longer than that. So I figured I'd intercept you when I could count on no interruptions."

"And of course I suppose a good old-fashioned beating would be out of the question." At that humorless statement the purple-clad turtle sidestepped past Leonardo and hastily made his way to the dojo to find his wayward younger brother. He found himself stopping short at the easily recognizable sound of a body hitting the mat. But it was the whimper that followed that truly stopped him from entering. He watched from the entryway as his baby brother picked himself off of the floor and quickly stumbled into position to attempt another back flip. Mikey, who had perfected his flips as a matter of necessity over many, many punishments, was usually able to pull off 40 perfectly in under ten minutes without breaking a sweat. But now as he watched Michelangelo attempt and fail several times he could easily tell that something was amiss in his brother's form besides his obvious superficial injuries. Almost as if he was favoring his left side. He couldn't help but notice how small his brother seemed as he picked himself up off the floor.

Don stood silently fuming until the seventh failed attempt. A particularly awkward landing resulted in his little brother flat on his face. But when he didn't immediately rise as he had the previous times the inventor knew it was time to intervene. "Sensei, this isn't doing him any good" he called, surprised at his own audacity, before crossing the room and hauling his jade-skinned brother up by the arm. The rough treatment was taken with downcast eyes. "I wonder if I might have a bit of time with him?"

* * *

For the second time in less than half an hour Donatello found himself alone in a room occupied with a brother instead of making popcorn to watch several hours of destructive experimentation in the name of science. But where he'd been annoyed and a bit mad at Leo, he felt open rage as he stared at this particular sibling. "I don't suppose you want to talk about where you were or why you vanished without a trace for two days, do you?" 

Silence was his only reply. The orange-clad turtle continued to look downward and nothing was said for several minutes. When the silence was finally broken it was with a whisper. "I hit my head."

"You hit your head?"

"On the mat. I would have kept going. But I hit my head on the mat and it hurt... I hit my head." Michelangelo seemed unwilling to elaborate further than that but he finally looked up at his brother, willing him to understand.

For the first time in over two days the two made eye contact and Don had to stifle a gasp despite his anger. Dark circles hung under his little brother's eyes making them look almost bruised and the right side of his face looked raw in several places. His expression was one of obvious exhaustion but his eyes also held a glint of what Donatello could only interpret as...confusion.

"Well, you hit your head because you were already hurt." He desperately tried to keep the annoyance that was rebuilding itself from it's momentary lapse out of his voice in order to try to get some kind of information out of Mikey. "Let's get you bandaged up. Then maybe you can tell me how you got beat up in the first place" he urged, leading the dazed turtle back towards his room. Don never slept out of reach of a first aid kit and a bottle of painkillers after all.

"I didn't get beat up Don."

The comment caused the smoldering anger in the purple-clad turtle to ignite . "Don't you dare lie to me Michelangelo! I'm the one who's going to have to treat all those wounds, and I'm not blind. Leo nearly had an anxiety attack while you were gone. We did nothing but search for you and worry over you for two days, and he and Raph were butting heads every other spare moment. The least you could do is at least tell SOMEONE what really happened." His grip on his injured brother's arm constricted until a whimper was uttered into the hush of the room. When he was met again with silence he deposited his sibling onto his bed a bit more roughly than necessary. He stalked across his room and quickly unearthed a small mirror.

"Have you seen yourself lately?" Thrusting the mirror into Mikey's hands, he continued. "Take a good long look. Then you look me in the eye and tell me that you weren't out there getting into a fight. And so help me God if you can look at those cuts and scrapes and bruises and still tell me that you didn't get into a brawl with someone... then you'd better start explaining HOW you acquired such injuries." He stood, arms crossed, and watched as his little brother brought his eyes to meet his reflection. "We deserve an explanation, and if Leo won't let me hold you down and pummel the answer out of you then I'll invent a way to read your mind if need be to get it!" Whatever reaction he'd been expecting from Mikey wasn't the one he received.

The jade turtle's expression seemed to drop into a further look of misery and his skin tone seemed to whiten. The mirror in his grasp slipped through suddenly slackened fingers and fell to the floor, shattering with a sharp sound. He quickly squeezed his eyes shut. "I...I got beat up." With that the youngest stood and bolted from Donatello's room, leaving the inventor to wonder not only about his little brother's behavior, but about his own sudden inexplicable burst of anger as well. And a figure Don never even noticed hidden in the shadows outside the archway of his room silently retreated after the youngest brother...

* * *


End file.
